Suspect description: Blond or blonde?

December 11, 2012

Dear Anonymous Couple:

Your holiday generosity in the Livermore Wal-Mart is overwhelming, but c’mon? If a shopper had $600 worth of merchandise in their cart, they either could afford it, or they need financial counseling, not a benefactor.

As to anonymity, San Jose Mercury News writer Jeremy Thomas is on your trail. Before you know it, there’ll be a BOLO (that’s police talk for “be on the lookout for…”) using the Mercury News description.

BOLO: Caucasian man and woman in their 30s. Man has thinning brown hair. Woman is blond. Suspects known only as anonymous couple must be apprehended and identified.”

That will force Mr. Pettigrew, Livermore Wal-Mart manager, to relinquish all surveillance records he claims don’t exist. Before your grainy black and white photos are matched to the time of your major credit card purchase, I hope the BOLO will be edited to read gender-specific “blonde” (not blond).

Advice from this mystery writer: Next time, use gift cards or cash. Meanwhile, to avoid identification, Ms. Blonde Anonymous should color her hair red or green, perhaps both to celebrate the holiday season. I suggest Mr. Thinning-Hair Anonymous wear a stocking cap because Rogaine takes time.

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_22164063/livermore-shoppers-stunned-by-anonymous-good-samaritan

 

 

 

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Blogging

One response to “Suspect description: Blond or blonde?

  1. Blond or blonde. Thinning. hair, or even as you suggest: green or red, it was a great story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s